March 11, 2002
9/11: Six Months On
So, it's been six months since September 11. Sometimes it feels like six minutes, other times it feels like six years.
Last night I watched that 9/11 special, and ended up with that by now all-to-familiar clenched, twisted feeling in my stomach. You know, the one where it feels like there's a giant fist clutching your guts, and squeezing? Yeah. Like that. Just like it did on September 11, and every day thereafter for about three weeks. I ended up getting sick last September, too, missing a day and a half of work because of severe stomach cramps and excessive puking. I could only attribute it to the stress, horror, and extreme emotional distress of the situation. The detailed eye-witness accounts of people electing to jump to their death from the 100th floor of one of the Trade Towers rather than endure the raging inferno, and body parts falling on the crowds below. God knows I didn't need to hear all that, but I did, unable to turn away from it all. And people were compelled to tell their stories, are still compelled. It's human nature, I guess, a sort of bonding ritual, to share what they saw and experienced. Not necessarily to say, "I experienced worse than you," but rather, "Yes, I experienced that, too; I understand where you're coming from".
Today there were memorials held in Washington D.C., Pennsylvania, and New York City to remember those who died six months ago. The Pentagon is being repaired and rebuilt, a permanent memorial is planned for the field in Pennsylvania, and the remains of bodies and buildings at Ground Zero are being recovered and laid to rest in New York. Last night, a silent but beautiful tribute rose into the night sky as two beams of light representing the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center were lit. There is little more to say about that, other than it was simply a perfect tribute.
And, so we're six months on. We've mourned, we've grieved. We still do those things, and to a certain extent, we - those of us who are old enough to never forget - always will. Seeing the planes crash into the towers in the documentary was as horrifying and painful as it was the morning of September 11. The shock and disbelief of seeing the Pentagon suddenly damaged and in flames, and the report of a fourth plane crashing in to a field in Pennsylvania was just as sharp and mind numbing as it was six months ago. A part of me acknowledges this is part of my history, now. Another part of me still can't believe it really happened. Wasn't it all just a bad dream? Wasn't it just a figment of our collective imagination? Such horror only happens in the movies, right?
Wrong. It was real. It happened. And, we're still dealing with it. Coming to terms. Accepting. Healing. We've gone to war. I think we're winning, though I'm not sure. That action has helped us a bit, I think, in the healing process. The fact that we're doing something, that we're taking action and dispensing justice, rather than just laying down and giving up, is helping. Whether or not we'll ever actually "get" the guy we all believe is responsible for September 11th becoming more than just another day on the calendar, is something that remains to be seen, but I'm not sure it's really as important as it was before. We're winning the war, we're defeating the "evildoers," and even if we never find Osama bin Laden, just knowing we destroyed his terrorist operation, and freed the country he reined in terror over for so many years, makes us feel better. Well, it makes me feel better, anyway. I guess I can't really speak for everyone else in the country.
So, now we’ve made it six months. We’ve mourned, we’ve grieved, we’ve begun healing, and we’ve begun moving on. Life returns to its normal, everyday routine, even if that routine is now completely different than it was September 11th. It’s a new reality; one we’re slowly getting used to. Eventually, September 11th will only be a faint twinge of pain in the gut of those of us who still remember. That won’t be for a long time, though, I don’t think. Not for a very long time.
ESCAPE Reading: "Mendoza in Hollywood" by Kage Baker
Classic Book of the Month: "Little Women" by Louisa May Alcott
Listening to: The Calling, Jimmy Eat World, Michelle Branch
Writing: Nothing lately.
Favourite Thing Right Now: The Tribute in Lights.
Gratitude: Healing.
Hez
© 2002 hez
Photo by APS
